


see me as i am

by wanderseeing



Series: poems for all these ships in the night [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:01:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25208149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderseeing/pseuds/wanderseeing
Summary: darling, we're killers. darling, we're saviours. can't we be both? can't we both hope?(Poetry inspired by RK1K.)
Relationships: Connor/Markus (Detroit: Become Human)
Series: poems for all these ships in the night [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1826206
Comments: 5
Kudos: 7





	1. penance

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from lyrics from 'Iron Doors' by The Lighthouse and The Whaler (which is such an RK1K song to me, check it out if you'd like!) This chapter is from Connor's perspective.

_ penance _

every night i always feel like i’m breaking open

and apart, splitting at the seams from all the things

i’ve done wrong. who gets to decide i’m forgiven

when i don’t believe in god? how do i know when my mistakes

no longer outweigh the lives i save? 

your eyes are twin lighthouses calling me home, 

and when i say i don’t deserve it, you smile instead, look at me

as if i’m more than what they’ve made me. as if i’m real

and not just some kind of walking blasphemy,

the lazarus who won’t die when he’s told. 

you look at me, and i can see the seasons,

summer and winter and everything in between—the promise

that things need to end, just so they can begin again.

do i get to have this? i don’t know what i can and can’t keep,

which of my wants are permitted to me, a sinner,

how much good i get to taste before i have to give it all up.

sometimes you touch me and i feel saved. is that okay?

your hands like earth, rough and sun-touched,

and beneath them i shake. beneath them, i’m selfish.

you hold me and tell me it’s okay. you tell me i can have this.


	2. cornerstone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markus' perspective.

_ cornerstone _

i look at the world and everything always seems split

right down the middle: two damned halves, and somehow

i’ve been told i need to fill that gap. i’m fighting to reconcile

what had been with what will be, but i don’t know

what it’s supposed to look like, or how to know when it’s time to stop.

my hands weren’t made for fighting, they weren’t meant for

bullets and bruises and blood and bones breaking.

these parts of me are foreign. i don’t recognise them.

they feel like they belong to other people entirely, 

and every time i look in the mirror, my face is familiar 

but i still look a stranger. i wake up in the mornings

and i am outside myself, but then you find me,

your gaze like honey. help me find my way back into my own body.

i’m helpless but i hide it, bury all these doubts inside me,

pretend that i don’t mind the thousand eyes watching,

asking for all the answers, searching for their salvation.

and i’m no saint, but i pretend because no one else will do it.

and everything’s hopeless except maybe you. a sure thing.

broken and blue but never bitter, never cruel.

with you, i am steady. i turn into the rock i’m scared i can’t be.

i hold you and know that things are okay. 

with you, i know that i can be a safe place.


End file.
